Halo 3 Multiplayer Screen Shots (2008)

These are a few screen shots from Halo 3, back when I was really into the competitive multiplayer. This would be circa 2008.

I'm the Spartan with the Unicorn emblem.

2012 Movie Review

2012 Movie Review

The Good:

1. I liked the special effects. What more can I say about that?

2. Los Angeles getting fucked up is worth the price of admission alone. Couldn't have happened to a more deserving (American) city.

3. Woody Harrelson.


The Bad:

1. A bit too long.

2. Also a bit wishy-washy. Big example is when the Captain of one of the boats basically endangers the lives of TWO whole boats to save some people from one. Breaking all the rules in the process... Basically he lets some civilians tell him how to run his ship. Grow some fucking balls, man.

Final Badassian Scale Rating: +1 ALRIGHT (Equivalent of 6 out of 10)

Conclusion: It was a special effects filled disaster movie, that's really all that needs to be said.

Green Screen Studio Testing Pics

Here are some photos of me testing out my new green screen studio. Most (or all) of these are from the making of the "Badass Reviews: Avatar" video. It was hot as burning hell in front of those lights.

The Hurt Locker Movie Review

The Hurt Locker Review



The Good:

1. The characters and acting were all really good.

2. The lack of politics. Thankfully, this movie is practically devoid of all politics, which is absolutely fan-FUCKING-tastic. War movies tend to get bogged down with the political or propaganda aspects.

For example, World War 2 movies have degraded to the point where it is all about "saving the world from evil Nazis." Viet Nam war movies suffer from the "anti-war" messages they get burdened with as well. Previous Iraq war movies tended to focus heavily on whether or not it was "right" to have invaded Iraq. Not so here. This movie is solely focused on the soldiers themselves, and that is how I like my war movies.

3. Everything looks VERY realistic and believable. It's very easy to believe you are watching the actual war in Iraq, in the actual locations. It looks like a documentary. Even the actions of the local Iraqi people are very realistic and believable. Watch "Ross Kemp in Afghanistan" and pay attention to the Afghan locals. They look and act EXACTLY like the Iraqi locals in this movie.

4. I really liked the ending. The scene with James in the supermarket is absolutely spot-on. In an unspoken way, it evokes the message that the general public worries about which highly sugared cereal to buy this week, when in reality, it doesn't fucking matter. Military life in general changes your whole outlook on life, and your perception of what really matters to you. The ending of the film reflects this in a poignant way.

5. There were several really well done suspenseful scenes in The Hurt Locker. On top of the ever-present threat of the explosives detonating, you also had to worry about the people looking on. Which ones are insurgents? Is there a sniper waiting to shoot you or the explosives? Is that guy with the cell phone about to detonate the bomb? Seriously, you can see why these guys can be so high-strung and lose their nerve.


The Bad:
NOTHING! The 2nd movie in a row where I cannot find anything really bad with the film. Nothing.

YAY!: I was really impressed to learn that a woman had directed one of my favorite war movies ever. +1 for that.

Final BS Rating: +6 THAT'S HOT SHIT! (to quote the Colonel from the movie) This is actually off the chart of my scale. I think this is the first time something has ever gone higher than the existing scale.

The Hurt Locker was an absolutely fantastic war movie. Reading some other "professional" reviews, I noticed that the only people who were giving the film negative reviews, were the people who have a major bug up their ass about the real-life Iraq war. (and also people who just generally despise war movies)

If you're looking for a movie that points fingers and vilifies George W. Bush, this isn't it. Alternatively, if you're looking for a film that glorifies the war, or Bush, this isn't it either.

I see this as a soldier's movie. A soldier goes to war, and in the end it doesn't matter what political situation got him there. He's simply there, and has to do his job no matter what. Sometimes, it's only the job that really matters.

The Lovely Bones Movie Review

The Lovely Bones Movie Review (No Spoilers in this text version)
Video Review on Youtube: (Massive Spoilers) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nu2R0FaCMtQ

The Good:

1. Great acting

2. Stanley Tucci as the killer is FANTASTIC.

3. Some great looking scenes.


The Bad:

1. Ending was lame and VERY unsatisfying.

2. Some plot points are left unresolved.

3. Some plot points don't make much sense.

4. Love interest is PATHETIC.


GAY: Questionable plot and lame ending ruin the experience. -1

Final BS Rating: -2 SUCKS


With a slightly different script, this could have been a great movie. Oh well.

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Review (Xbox 360)

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Review
Watch the video review here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gCATN37_GA

The Good:

1. Addictive Multiplayer: Hands-down the most addictive and fun multiplayer game of 2009. So easy to spend DAYS playing this game online.

2. Looks Good: While not actually true high definition graphics, the game still looks very good.

3. No more infinitely spawning enemies: Remember the old Call of Duty games, where enemies kept spawning until you passed an invisible line in the level? This tired old shitty mechanic is now gone, as far as I can tell. About fucking time.

4. Call signs, Kill Streaks, Perks: Part of what makes the multiplayer so addictive is the unlockables. Tons of fun to unlock new call signs, kill streaks, and perks. (weapons too)

5. Co-op Spec Ops Mode: Call of Duty co-op? Hell yeah! Nice addition.


The Bad:

1. Shitty Campaign: The story is complete rubbish, and it wasn't all that fun. While there were a few "Oh Shit!" moments, I had to force myself to finish the campaign. At least it was VERY short...

2. Glitchers and lag nearly ruin the multiplayer experience: I have had a lot of lag issues when playing online. Horrible to the point of some matches being uncompetitive at best, and unplayable at worst. There doesn't seem to be a system for searching for games close to you. If you live outside North America, and the game connects you to a match hosted in the USA, prepare to lag like a 1 legged dog.

Final BS Rating: +3 Hardcore

Despite a few drawbacks, Modern Warfare 2 was one of the better games of 2009, and if you are a big fan of first person shooters, it is a must have game.

Legendary Skyways B737-200 Maiden Flight

This is my Boeing 737-200 in the new Legendary Skyways livery. My first FSX repaint. The flight was from East Texas Regional (KGGG) to Provo (KPVU) in Utah. It was a success. $9.6 mil in profit! WOOT!

The Godfather II PC Game Review Singleplayer Only

Good:
1. Titties
2. Fun to be a Don for a short time.
3. Good dialogue and Voice acting except for the "word on the street" parts.

Bad:
1. Gets old after 4-5 hours.
2. Repetitive dialogue when talking to people on the street.
3. You have to play online to upgrade your family's weapon licenses for singleplayer.

Final Score: 0 = MEH
6/10

The Ever-Amusing Youtube Subscriber Count

It's always interesting to watch my subscriber count change after I upload a video or series of videos. Lately the number always seems to drop by 2 within an hour after uploading. I'll lose a few, then slowly the number creeps back up to around whatever it was before I posted my last video. Usually if I don't post many videos, I'll start gaining subbers.

Here's an example, yesterday morning when I checked my Youtube, I had 1110 subscribers. This morning when I looked, I had 1107. I posted 2 videos today and within an hour after posting, I'm down to 1105. Tomorrow morning I'll probably have 1108 or something like that... It's like a god-damn mini rollercoaster or something.

My theory on this is that I do so many different kinds of videos, that I get fans of one kind of vid, who then see another kind of vid, and think "What the fuck is this shit that I subscribed to?" Then they fuck off. If I do a game video I might bring in some new subbers, but then they see my sketches and unsubscribe. Or vice-versa.

Maybe I should have done just one type of video and stuck with it, like Fred or SMOSH. Obviously I wouldn't get the numbers those guys get, but it probably would have lessened the rollercoaster effect.

Anyway it all comes down to the old saying "You can't please everyone". Which is very true. So I continue to do my thing, and if people watch, fantastic. If not, meh.

Tecmo Bowl Kickoff NDS Review

Tecmo Bowl Kickoff - Nintendo DS Review

The original Tecmo Bowl and Tecmo Super Bowl for the NES were 2 of my favorite games ever. Especially Tecmo Super Bowl. When Tecmo Bowl Kickoff came out for the DS, naturally I had to play it. Here's my review:

The Good:
1. Same fun Tecmo Bowl gameplay.

2. It has a player and team editor. (which is nice since there is no NFL license)

3. Fun old-school style cutscenes.


The Bad:
1. No NFL license. This really SUCKS. I would have loved seeing all those classic NFL players again. Instead we get generic players who often have really weird names.

2. The passing cursor is hard to distinguish when choosing receivers. The cursor is white, and when you switch receivers, it changes to a different white. Whoever designed it can blow me.

3. Dodgy AI and game logic. Players will sometimes run AWAY from the ball carrier before making the tackle etc... The AI seems to call random plays.

4. The game is just way too easy. I win nearly every game by a huge margin, and have never LOST a game.

5. Really questionable catches, interceptions, incomplete passes, and cheap feeling special moves.

Yay: Big Nostalgia trip. +1

FINAL BADASSIAN SCALE RATING: -1 NOT SO GOOD


CONCLUSION:
It's fun to play for a season or two, just long enough for the nostalgia to wear off. It's probably one of my favorite games on the DS, but that's not hard to do considering how much shit gets shoveled onto the DS. (and the Wii for that matter) Ultimately though, I ended up feeling diasppointed. Perhaps it has more to do with that old saying "you can never go back" than any fault with the game.

Brothers in Arms: Hell's Highway Xbox 360 Review

Brothers in Arms: Hell's Highway Xbox 360 Review


Liked:

1. Graphics are good but nothing mind-blowing.

2. Sound effects are fantastic.

3. Gameplay is generally fun and enjoyable.

4. Action camera is fuckin' badass! I can't get enough of seeing enemies get their faces and limbs blown off.

5. Story is ok. Kind of like a poor man's Band of Brothers or Saving Private Ryan.

6. Most achievements you get simply by playing the game. Nothing wrong with rewarding players for playing your game.

7. Good voice acting and soundtrack.

8. Not one single word mentioned about the "Holocaust". Thank fucking God.


Disliked:

1. I can't stand Leggett. Always hated the mother-fucker and this game just makes me hate him more.

2. Textures sometimes take too long too load, and you end up looking at a very blandly rendered model. Particularly bad on the characters' faces during cut scenes.

3. Some gay glitches... Pathfinding is bad sometimes, and both enemies and friendlies get stuck on scenery or run around like a dog chasing its tail.

4. Too much of the emotional impact of the story relies on the player having played the previous two games.

5. Minor gripes: These are a bunch of little things that when added up made me take away a point from the game. I felt it would be unfair to remove a whole point for each one of these things.

Did the Germans run out of grenades by September, 1944? The enemy AI never uses grenades. (this could be a good thing too)

Speaking of the Germans, they are the typical Hollywood propaganda style Nazis who seem to enjoy shooting Dutch women for pleasure.

Some of the achievements are just plain crazy. Like the one where you have to play for 100 days straight, and the one where you have to remember to play it on Sept. 17 next year... Can't cheat with that one either, since you have to be signed into Xbox Live to get it.

Sometimes the cut scenes seem to just "jump" right into a completely different scene. A good transition or fade would have looked better and been smoother.

Sometimes your squaddies will "teleport" to you or in front of you rather than run. That looks really shitty and can sometimes get them killed if they happen to teleport out in front of the cover.

The game uses those "quick flash frames" to represent madness that so many games have started using ever since F.E.A.R. started it all... Enough already.

Finally, and I don't know if this is a bug, or just AI behavior, but often you can give your men orders and they won't follow them.


Yay: The action cam and the intensity and sound of the fighting definitely make this a great experience. +1

Gay: I'm getting tired of every WW2 FPS trying to be Band of Brothers or Saving Private Ryan. Enough with the sappy emotional stuff. Story and emotions can be good, but for fuck's sake all the kids are going to start thinking that World War 2 was fought by a bunch of Emos and the war started because Hitler threw people into Concentration Camps. -1

Final BS Rating: +3 HARDCORE

Notes:

I didn't even bother trying the multiplayer, it simply didn't interest me. This review only considers the single-player campaign.

Hakuna Matata (Afrika) PS3 Review

Hakuna Matata (Afrika) PS3 Review

Note: I bought the Asian version of the game, and since I don't read or speak Japanese, I had to stumble my way through the game or find guides to use. It doesn't seem to take away too much from the gameplay experience, but I felt that should be noted. Also I have not played this game all the way through to completion.

Liked:

1. Very beautiful graphics and animations. They aren't quite photorealistic or jaw droppingly amazing, but they are VERY gorgeous. They do have a "wow" factor when you first start seeing them. The animal animations are the most eye-catching. You could very nearly imagine you were watching real animals sometimes.

2. Good soundtrack. The instrumental score is very nice, and reminds me of John Williams sometimes. Excellent stuff, although possibly somewhat repetitive.

3. Tons of animals. I think every African animal I could think of, plus many more are included in this game. All of them are done in great detail.

4. The National Geographic library has some really nice photos of the animals in it. It's a shame I couldn't read all the text.

5. You can export the photos that you take onto a memory card, and then transfer them to your PC. Unfortunately they only export as 672x448 pixel PNGs, so desktop wallpapers are out of the question.

6. There's several cameras and lenses to unlock, along with new areas with new animals. This kind of helps keep you playing. I think if everything was available from the start, it would get a little old pretty quickly.


Didn't Like:

1. Long load times in the beginning, plus a 2.5GB mandatory install. Also the save times are long, and the save game file is something like 378 megs.

2. If you get too close to an aggressive animal, it charges you and you black out and wake up back at base camp. That's fair enough, but you lose any shots you had taken before you got gored. THAT can SUCK.

3. There's no fast travel option for traveling to different areas, with the exception of the Base Camp after you gain control of the jeep. So that means everytime you go back to base, you have to spend part of your limited day manually driving back to the area you want to be in. I suppose it's realistic, but it's a bit annoying. Especially if you got gored by a buffalo a few times trying to get a great mug shot.

4. It does get a bit old going around photographing animals. It's fun to try and get cool shots of the animals, but the equipment you have even a few hours into the game is pretty shitty. I'll have to see if I have the patience to get deeper into the game and unlock better stuff.


Yay: The sheer beauty of the game, just needs to be experienced. It's definitely one of those "experience" type games. If the concept of the game appeals to you, it's worth a play. +1

Final BS Rating: +3 HARDCORE

True Blood and Heroes

I've totally gone off both True Blood and Heroes. I never really got into True Blood, and after episode 3 I decided to quit watching it. There was too much gayness in the episode and everytime Sookie or Bill open their mouths I feel like muting the volume. I couldn't stand Bill's "friends" who I'm sure he'll end up fighting against in future episodes.

I'm sick of the whole Anne Rice style vampires who when they aren't out feeding, mainly lounge around and have sex with any human they can find. Doesn't matter what gender they are, anything seems to do in this type of vampire world. Homosexuals and bisexuals seem to be disproportionately represented in this style of vampire. Clearly written by women, for women.


Heroes is a continuing disappointment. The first season was great. Couldn't wait for new episodes to hit. The second season went downhill fast, and thank goodness the writers' strike cut it short. Now having watched the first episode of season 3, it's time to kiss this sorry show goodbye. I don't think I've ever been this disappointed with a TV show.

The plotline is so convoluted that you need to devote time to reading websites that detail all the plots and characters to really have a clue what is going on. And I've seen every episode that's aired on TV, so I'm not even missing anything.

Characters die, or appear to die and then return more often than even in comic books. Definitely shitty writing to try and pull this "twist" as often as they have. It's ok maybe once, but pull that shit as much as they do, and people stop caring as much about the characters. "What, he died? Oh no worries he'll be back next episode, or maybe by the end of this one."

You lose some emotional attachment for a character if you feel like they can't really die for good. Through season one we worried if Sylar would actually kill Claire or some of the other Heroes. But now by season 3, we're so jaded that it doesn't even faze us if someone gets "killed". We also know who the big stars of the show are, so if one of their characters goes down, we automatically know they'll be back. And all of this fucking time travel bullshit has to fuckin' stop. (I'm talking about the "future characters" that pop in and out of the timeline, not Hiro's time traveling)

Meh, why even care anymore?

I've said it before, and I'll say it again... Can't wait for the new season of Dexter to start. Hopefully that doesn't go down the shitter as well.

Garfunkel Forza 2 Cars

I picked up Forza Motorsport 2 for the Xbox 360 about 3 weeks ago, so I'm very late to the Forza party. I created a few cars with a cartoon version of Garfunkel's face on them. They're pretty shitty, and the couple I tried to auction didn't even get a single bid, even at just 5000 credits.

I'm posting some screen grabs of a few of them here for anybody who likes my Garfunkel Youtube videos.

More of My Spore Creations

Here's some more Spore creations for anyone interested. A couple naughty ones, plus a few "serious" creations. I particularly like the air vehicle and Titzilla.

From the Top:
1. Heffalump
2. Horny Erectus
3. Titzilla
4. Death Bat
5. Land Shark


To use them in your game, just click on the images, download them, and then copy them into your "My Documents/My Spore Creations/Creatures" folder. (or into "Vehicles" for the vehicles. Should be obvious.)

My Spore Penis Monsters

Here's a few of my badass Spore penis monsters. And when I say badass, I mean they are shit. But hey, since Spore isn't very fun to actually play, and creating and sharing monsters is the most interesting thing to do, here ya go.

To add them to the game, simply download these PNG files, and put them in your
"My Documents/My Spore Creations/Creatures" folder. They'll show up in your Sporepedia and you might actually encounter them in your game. Have fun with my cock'n'balls!

From the top:
1. Cockasaurus Rex
2. DickaDactyl
3. ScrotumSaurus
4. Wang-a-Roo

Cloverfield Movie Review

Cloverfield Review

What I Liked:

1. The idea of the whole movie being presented as shot through a home video camera is interesting.

2. Special effects of the city being destroyed are generally good.

3. Some evocative shots, like of the Statue of Liberty’s severed head, and the Sept. 11-esque shots of rolling debris clouds and crowds running.

What I Didn’t Like:

1. Hud constantly yelling “Rob!” is annoying as FUCK.

2. The creatures look so fake they aren’t even scary. The dinosaurs in Jurassic Park were scarier because they looked real.

3. An anti-tank rocket can blast through a heavily armored tank, but yet can’t even make the organic creature bleed.

Gay:

There’s a scene near the end where they don’t notice that a monster half the size of a skyscraper is standing right next to them until it’s too late.

Final BS Rating: -1 NOT SO GOOD

Top Posts

At the moment, I'm only transferring the top posts from my old blog to this one. I might get around to doing all of them, but I'm probably too fat and lazy to do it.

Wayne

Iron Man Movie Review

Iron Man Review

What I Liked:

1. Fantastic special effects. There weren’t too many moments that looked fake enough to put you off.

2. Tony Stark is a refreshing change from some other recent super-heroes. (emo Peter Parker for example)

3. Gwyneth Paltrow is great as the assistant.

4. Has some clever combat moments.

5. There’s some neat gadgets, and Iron Man’s suit is cool.

What I Didn’t Like:

1. Iron Man having to fight another “Iron Man” seems like an uncreative cop-out. Just like how in the next Hulk movie, Hulk has to fight another “Hulk”.

2. The story feels very generic once it moves out of Afghanistan in the beginning.

3. We see so many scenes of Tony Stark learning how to operate his suit through trial and error, yet the man who operates the other Iron suit can operate it with precision on the first attempt. (same applies for Stark in the beginning while escaping from Afghanistan)

Yay or Gay: Nothing really stands out either way, beyond what’s already mentioned.

Final BS Rating: +2 PRETTY GOOD