EA Makes Some Good Ads

Despite a list of complaints I might have about EA, lately I've really enjoyed the ads that they have created and run. If you can amuse me with an ad, you're one step closer to getting my money for your game. EA's been doing a good job, and I think other companies need to take notice. The recent spots for Bad Company and Mercenaries 2 have been particularly good.

Antispore

Kotaku.com has an article today on a blog that is supposedly done by a religious zealot protesting against Spore and EA' so-called "war on creationism".

http://antispore.com/

Out of curiosity I had a look for myself. To me the blog is clearly a clever attempt to make some money using AdSense ads. You go to the site and the second thing you notice, (after the adult themed Spore pics and vids) is the massive amount of AdSense ads on the page. The author is just trying to cash in on the massive hype of Spore, and to get a bigger audience, added in the religious nut "controversy" stuff. It's clever, and if the guy makes a few bucks from it, more power to him.

UPDATE: I was right, the site turned out to be a joke, one big Rick Roll apparently. Probably scored the author a few cents for his AdSense in the process...

People are debating whether Spore is a game about Evolution or Intelligent Design. Shouldn't be any debate there. The creatures don't actually evolve, and the plethora of penis monsters and other shitty creations totally shoots down the idea that something could have "intelligently designed" actual real-life creatures....

True Blood: S1 E1 TV Review

True Blood: S1 E1 TV Review

What I Liked:

1. The cast was likeable enough, and they seemed to suit their roles pretty well. Anna Paquin is cute and sweet enough for me to like her in the main role.

2. The show has an interesting take on vampires, in that they have "come out of the coffin" publicly on TV and now live openly in human society. They drink a Japanese-invented synthetic blood. Silver also seems to work on them like Kryptonite does to Superman... Except they have to be in physical contact with it, rather than just near it.

3. Sookie Stackhouse (shame about the name) has the ability to hear the thoughts of people around her, and that could lead to some interesting moments.

4. Boobs!



What I Didn't Like:

1. The southern accents are terrible, and sound nothing like the accents that people really have in Louisiana. Sometimes you can catch Anna Paquin slipping back into her normal accent.

2. I hope the whole "Sookie rescues the vampire from the redneck vampire drainers" thing is just a very contrived plot device. Otherwise a lot of the vampires in this show are going to be pussy-ass nancy vamps kind of like in the Anne Rice stuff.... It just broke my entire image of vampires, when Bill couldn't fight off one man and one woman. Now if they show a vampire later on in the series absolutely kicking the crap out of a fit adult male or two, I'm going to roll my eyes and groan....

3. Only created just enough curiosity, hope, and interest for me to watch the next episode. Does every modern vampire now have to be emo? Or maybe not emo, but dark, brooding, and seemingly thinking that their whole existence sucks balls?


Final Badassian Scale Rating: +1 ALRIGHT

Closing Statement:

I have NOT read the books this show is based on. I know NOTHING about the books. This is based only on having watched this one episode....


No one has ever made a good vampire TV show. That's right Buffy and Angel fanboys and girls, go suck it. Heh heh, suck it? See what I did there? ZOMGLULZ.

I'm hoping this one gets better and becomes the first true good Vampire show. It already shits all over Buffy and Angel, (that means it is WAY better than Buffy and Angel, kids) so I have hope for it.

I'm just afraid that the vampires are going to end up being mainly sissy-boys except for maybe some 1 dimensional villain they might add in later.

Deadliest Catch: Alaskan Storm PC Review

Deadliest Catch: Alaskan Storm PC Review

What I Liked:

1. Pretty good simulation of crab fishing. (actually a bit more interesting than it probably sounds) You get to fish both for King Crab and Opilio Crab. As a fan of the show, I was really glad to be able to play a game where I could try my hand at crab fishing.

2. Good use of the TV show license, with actual music, people, boats etc from the TV show.

3. I liked the videos that pop up at key times. These are short and usually helpful vids with guys like Sig and Edgar Hansen giving advice or relating their own experiences.

4. It's a decent management game too. You have to balance crew members, bait, pots, profits, and especially time, to get the most out of the season.

5. You can customize one of the real-life boats, so you can feel like you have your own boat rather than playing with one of the real ones. Unfortunately customization is limited to paint job, cabin color, and boat name. I painted the Northwestern yellow and blue, and renamed it "Legendary". After each season, you can spend the money you earned buying upgrades for your boat. This kind of helps extend the replay value a bit.


What I Didn't Like:

1. The game runs at a whopping 5 frames per second on my PC. That's a consistent speed no matter if I neuter the graphics or run them at max. Makes it feel like the game is in slow motion.

2. The missions are extremely tedious and boring. If you play this game, slog through the first few missions until you unlock career mode.

3. The number of crabs you pull up in each pot don't seem random enough. I'm consistently pulling up 70-80 King Crabs with each pot after a 40-48 hour soak. Every time. I've never pulled up an empty pot. Ever. If you fish in the red survey areas, it seems like you will be on the crab without fail, everytime.

4. Bugs. In 3 seasons my boat has never consumed a single gallon of gas. Fuel consumption is completely broken on my game.

5. The game pace is SOOOOO SLOWWWWW.... Because the game is largely hands-off at times, it get can get very slow and boring at times. You're basically sitting there waiting for your crew to drop or pull pots. Pretty true to life, but it's going to lose all but the most committed crab fishing simmer.

6. The graphics would have looked nice if the game came out in 2000...


YAY: I just find it exceptionally cool, that they actually made a game based on Alaskan crab fishing. Despite everything, I'm actually liking this game. I just tend to have to be doing something else during the slower parts. Thank goodness for the Nintendo DS, dishwashing, or burning DVDs on a second PC... +1

GAY: Unfortunately there's so much a player has to look past to really appreciate this game. The people who will actually enjoy it, are most likely fans of the TV show with a lot of patience. They're probably also into other simulation games as well. -1


Final Badassian Scale Rating: -1 NOT SO GOOD

Spore: PC Review

Spore: PC Review

What I Liked:

1. Creating and evolving a creature from a simple organism into a complex one was a great idea.

2. The editors are good and give you a decent amount of options to create creatures, buildings and vehicles.

3. You can share your creations with other people and friends. ( I recommend just sharing with people you know, because seriously, why download a stranger's "Cockasaurus Rex, Titzilla, or Wangaroo" when you can download the ones your friend made instead?)

4. The game is cute enough that your wife/girlfriend/daughter/grandma might play it a couple times before getting bored.


What I Didn't Like:

1. The game is too cartoony and cute for my tastes. I would have liked to have been able to make an animal that was more realistic looking.

2. The Tribal and Civilization stages are nothing but crappy, dumbed-down real-time strategy games.

3. The Space stage totally sucks balls. There's often too much going on for your single spaceship to effectively handle at one time. The short range of your ship in the beginning is pretty annoying too... When I got to the space stage, I no longer wanted to play the game, and didn't feel much like replaying the game, since I knew where I would end up in the end.

4. Whoever designed the paint schemes for the editors needs to be fired. Then raped and executed. The paint schemes you can choose from are shockingly bad.

5. You can't seem to play as any of the creatures you created in the Creature Creator, you can only encounter them.

6. The creatures you create don't actually "evolve". You just get the option of choosing the parts you want, and selling the parts you don't want anymore. You get a final chance to design your creature when you go into Tribal stage, so basically whatever you've been playing the previous stages with, doesn't mean shit because you can completely change the entire creature. You can have a completely different creature throughout every stage. It's more like building with Legos than actual evolution.

7. The casual gamers this game seems to desperately want, will probably be turned off once they reach the space stage. There's too much going on, and the goals are less obvious.


YAY: You can create some pretty interesting looking creatures and vehicles, and share them with friends. +1

GAY: Unfortunately there's not much to do with those neat creatures and vehicles... A buddy and I were checking out each other's creations and having a laugh, and we agreed that it was a shame the game itself wasn't better. Seems a waste to spend so much time creating all that stuff, and then not being able to enjoy it in the game. -1


Final Badassian Scale Rating: -3 CRAPPY


Closing Statement:

Kids and some females may enjoy playing around with this for awhile, but adult gamers who've been gaming for years will be disappointed. Having said that, the PC game market has been so shitty for the last few years, that Spore is guaranteed to be on the best selling list for years to come. Along with the inevitable countless expansions it's sure to have.

Postal: Movie Review

Postal: Movie Review

What I Liked:

1. Has some genuinely funny moments.

2. The political incorrectness of it all is great.

3. There's a big gunfight where nobody gets shot except for little kids. Seriously, the greatest movie moment ever filmed.

4. If you played Postal 2, you'll find a lot of familiar characters, themes, and fan service.

5. Watching Uwe Boll make fun of himself was cool.


What I Didn't Like:

1. Could have included more actual game references.

2. Where the hell is Gary Coleman? Swap Mini-Me for Gary Coleman and you'd have a better and more relevant movie.

3. The Postal Dude isn't as much like the Postal Dude from the games. He looks the part, but certainly doesn't act it. He's lacking the attitude.

4. The movie is missing some of that special brand of humor that was pervasive throughout the Postal 2 game.


Final Badassian Scale Rating: +1 ALRIGHT

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor Movie Review

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor Movie Review

What I Liked:

1. The Asian chicks were hot.

2. The yetis were pretty cool. I want one.

3. The CGI effects were pretty good for the most part. On par with the previous Mummy movies.




What I Didn't Like:

1. I miss Rachel Weisz as Eva.

2. The jokes and humor come off as really lame.

3. The whole feel of the movie pales in comparison to the previous Mummy movies.

4. I struggled to remain interested in the movie, and really couldn't care much for what was happening onscreen.

5. The now grown up son is a shithead, and I felt he lacked the charisma he needed for that role.

6. The whole movie feels like they're just desperately milking the Mummy franchise for another paycheck.

FINAL BS RATING: -3 CRAPPY